I hear a lot of birth stories and it isn’t good when a mum tells me that she didn’t feel safe, listened to or supported during labour. As a practitioner, I work with expectant parents to help them prepare for labour and birth and I try to be realistic about where the challenges can be and how they might be able to manage them. But it’s really hard for parents when the maternity system doesn’t offer options and when midwives are too over-stretched to provide the right level of care, let alone to listen and provide reassurance. It can take a lot to be assertive when you are in pain, overwhelmed and vulnerable.
It has been almost one year since the birth of my first baby, and as I think ahead to giving birth to the next baby, all the terribleness of a year ago is creeping back up. It is hard because you want to tell yourself you are wiser and more educated this time around, based on what happened before, but it is so hard in the moment to manage it all. There's so much that depends on the quality of the care providers you select, who can all seem great in the months leading up but then fall short when the day comes. I had midwives who preached and promised natural birthing options in a calm, community hospital setting (not what I received in the end), and a doula who claimed she never overbooked herself (but she did and did not answer my calls when I went into labor, and was so exhausted when she did finally get to me that she wasn't at her best). It is shocking how hard it is to get the right kind of support. All I can hope for is to be stronger this second time around--in the moment and in the prep, when I select the care providers.
It has been almost one year since the birth of my first baby, and as I think ahead to giving birth to the next baby, all the terribleness of a year ago is creeping back up. It is hard because you want to tell yourself you are wiser and more educated this time around, based on what happened before, but it is so hard in the moment to manage it all. There's so much that depends on the quality of the care providers you select, who can all seem great in the months leading up but then fall short when the day comes. I had midwives who preached and promised natural birthing options in a calm, community hospital setting (not what I received in the end), and a doula who claimed she never overbooked herself (but she did and did not answer my calls when I went into labor, and was so exhausted when she did finally get to me that she wasn't at her best). It is shocking how hard it is to get the right kind of support. All I can hope for is to be stronger this second time around--in the moment and in the prep, when I select the care providers.