Worry: feel or cause to feel anxious or troubled about actual or potential problems
Most of us worry occasionally but some of us are definitely worriers - we joke in my family that I always need something to worry about.
The state of the world worries me but I can’t fix that so I choose to focus on the good things around me instead because that is something positive that I can do.
I’ve learnt to manage my worrying mind as best I can. Most of my worries are about potential problems, the stuff that hasn’t happened but could so I now have a process to think them through and deal with them.
What am I worrying about? Is it completely out of my control? Then I need to let it go.
What am I worrying about? Is there something I can do? Then I need to give it some thinking time to plan how I can handle these worries.
I am also a huge fan of writing my worries down - sometimes when I have a mishmash of thoughts taking up space in my head, I can end up just worrying about everything - this is when writing it down gives me some clarity and I can pinpoint if I do need to take action about something.
Personal worries can often lead to action - I was recently worried about my health and while I tried to tell myself I was worrying about nothing, the worries didn’t ease so I needed to do things. Some checks later, everything is fine and I have peace of mind.
Being a parent can bring its own additional worries and I can experience or hear comments such as “I worry about how he will manage at nursery/be at school”.
And some of this is about discussion but then also waiting to see what happens.
Sometimes I lay awake at night because my daughter isn’t home yet - there is nothing I can do but stay calm, it is out of my hands. Sometimes I will sleep and other times I will read until she is home.
and working with expectant and new parents means I hear
“I worry about the pain” or I worry that I will get it wrong” - and we always talk this through, what does this actually mean? What is it that you can do to understand and manage the pain of labour or to feel reassured that you are not getting anything wrong?
Our worries are unique to us, as will be how we manage them
Whatever your worries are, dealing with them helps - sometimes they just need acknowledging, and sometimes they need time to think them through, to gather information and to write down strategies
.Depending on the worry it can also be helpful to think about what you would do if your worry became a reality - then you have more of a plan, with options and ideas.
Focusing on calming my breathing has also made a huge difference - to give me focus, to keep me present, to work through anxieties and worries. Head over to Breathing Space for some different resources, to bring some simple and effective Relax & Breathe techniques into your day.
I’d love your thoughts - what do you worry about? How do you deal with your worries?