Anxiety means different things for us all and it manifests very individually - it can be crippling and it can be very closely managed.
I would say it has been the background noise of my life: impacting decisions, confidence, opportunities and adventures. It is something I have been able to push through but it has also been a cage, trapping me in a comfort zone that feels safe. I’m certainly not alone with this and the menopause has certainly shaken all of this up for me.
Anxiety creates physical symptoms like fast breathing and heart rate, tension, tiredness, feeling sick and on edge. And then there’s the endless worry, the irritation, the lack of sleep, withdrawing from people and avoiding places or situations.
It can also look like someone isn’t an anxious person but always keeping busy (so you don’t have to think) and staying comfortable, by not taking risks or seeking opportunities, are all symptoms of anxiety.
So, where to start?
As a parent, you are always doing and thinking about someone else so it’s hard to focus on what you need. But if you are experiencing anxiety and it is controlling your life, it needs some focus to manage it. It can be useful to:
identify where any stress is coming from and look at how this can be managed
use your breathing to slow your heart-rate and to let go of tension
become aware of your thinking patterns to focus on worry and what you are struggling with
look after yourself with the basics - food, water and walking
avoid booze
what are you avoiding? could more confidence help you leave your comfort zone?
talk it through to identify potential changes and make a plan
Obviously, it’s not going to be as easy as simply telling yourself to stop being anxious, we can build a life time of habits out of this, but identifying the gentle steps that could make a difference to you is well worth it. It can be uncomfortable and it can be challenging, it can also take effort and time but it can also be brilliant, empowering and, possibly, life changing.
I’d love your comments and experiences because I really do think this affects so many of us and we can hold ourselves back because it feels safer.