Babies have basic needs – to be fed, comfortable, to feel safe and to sleep. Some babies are calm and able to adjust to their new surroundings easily, while others are unsettled because they need time to adjust to the world outside the womb.
So, why might a new baby cry?
Hungry/Thirsty - new babies need feeding regularly, which can be a shock to when this is your first baby.
It’s really easy to think “you can’t need feeding again” but go with it and see - they won’t have a feed if it’s not what they want”Discomfort – some babies are windy and while some can be bring up a great burp, other babies are farters so you’ve got to wait for the gas to pass through them
Try winding positions - you will find what is more effective for your baby - and gently patting the back, as well as massage techniques like pressing all over the soles of the feet with your thumbs and also rotating their legs and hips to create some movement.Poos – some babies will cry as they poo, especially with wind and your baby may need the nappy changing soon after filling it
It can help to comfort them and then change their nappy as soon as they have pooed. Some babies also like some nappy free time at this stage.Tired – while some babies can fall asleep on their own this is not the norm – most will need to be held, probably with movement.
It’s totally normal to have to cuddle, carry, rock and soothe to help your baby sleep. During the day you may continue with contact naps or you can try to move your baby into the moses basket, although he may not stay asleep for too long away from you.To feel safe - babies like a face to look at, they need eye contact and to be spoken to, they need to be held. Babies also need us to be calm as they pick up on tension.
New and young babies need to know they haven’t been abandoned - it’s their survival instinct - so most will need to be close to you to feel secure.Overwhelmed – new and young babies can become overstimulated by new people, sounds, and activities. If you have a baby that is sensitive to new things, they might be unsettled throughout the day or it could be that they are overwhelmed in the evening after a day of new things and learning.
Soothe and comfort your baby when they need it, let them cling and feel safe as they slowly adjust to the world around them and all the new smells, sounds and sights.
This can feel overwhelming for you as well so please do have some support and remember that this is part of the intense newborn phase and it will ease.
Remember…
Babies cry to communicate a need and you just have to work out what that need is – it won’t always seem obvious but this is the learning curve of having a baby.
Sometimes there is no obvious reason why a baby is unsettled – they are just in a fettle and we need to wait for it to pass.
Growth spurts can also make babies unsettled – they may need more food, more comfort and more reassurance as their world changes. As your baby gets stronger and is able to do more, they need to know they are safe and this is why babies can cling to you.
If your baby needs to cling, let them – it’s a sign that they don’t feel safe and they need you to be calm.
Meeting their needs, is easier than battling with them
You are not making a rod for your back
Always get your baby checked out if they seem very unsettled or your instinct says something isn’t quite right - you are not making a fuss or wasting anyone’s time!
Every baby has periods of crying but if meeting their needs doesn’t seem to work or you feel that something else is going on, speak to your health visitor or GP just in case there is something like reflux causing discomfort.
Tips for you…
look after you – eat, drink, rest
do you have any support to give you a hand - ask for/accept some help
if you have a new baby who needs to cling – a sling makes a huge difference
keep the early days and weeks simple and quiet as you both find your feet
if you feel like you are struggling or uncertain of what to do – arrange a conversation with me for some reassurance and ideas
Coming up this month:
labour & birth essentials
postnatal overview
the 4th trimester
Coming up next month:
birth space
mindset for labour and birth
birth plans
using positions in pregnancy, labour and birth
growth spurts
managing two or more
routines
feeding