The reality of labour & birth
Labour and birth is unpredictable, you don’t know how it is going to unfold, how long it will last, how many contractions you will have, how you will feel or what the birth environment around you will be like.
The reality is that labour and birth can be painful, exhausting and overwhelming, it can make you feel vulnerable and in need of safety. And this is nothing to be frightened of - knowing this, accepting it and feeling able to manage this is what makes a difference.
Good preparation is about knowing what can help - moving, breathing, being supported and informed and feeling relaxed safe and able - as well as what can be a hindrance - feeling rushed and unsupported, being interrupted, not feeling able to move as you need to, feeling scared and uninformed. It helps to know where the challenges might be so you know more about how to manage them. Understanding your options is an important part of birth preparation because it means you have more options.
Having worked with expectant parents for 20 years, I know that thinking ahead and knowing more about the challenges makes a difference because it means you have thought about it and are better prepared for the unpredictability.
I asked parents to give me the words to describe the birth of their baby - and experiences vary greatly…
It is possible to go into labour with fixed expectations of a specific labour and birth. While having something to work towards is positive, it’s also worth having the tools to deal with a birth which isn’t like expectations.
Over the years I have spoken to many mums who have only focused on some type of hypnobirthing as their birth preparation and have felt completely ill-equipped and prepared for the reality. Knowing how you to use your breathing and to be calm is important but this is just one element - this is way preparing for the challenges makes a difference.
I will write about this more in future posts but I just want to mention here that there is also a place for talking through the birth of your baby afterwards - birth doesn’t have to have been upsetting or traumatic, it just might have been tougher than you expected or it has left you with a need to make sense of what you experienced.
If you are reading this after you have given birth, what words would sum it up for you? Would you like to share your birth story?
I hope this has been a useful read - please do pass this on to anyone who is having a baby - and let me have any comments or questions.
The Mother Cuppa Lounge - little online space for you to read, learn about and discuss pregnancy, birth, babies and being a family - opens on October 1.