In a world of information overload with experts, books and websites, it’s easy to always be searching for answers but so much of what you do and need in pregnancy, birth and with your baby is individual and instinctive.
No pregnancy is the same, no birth is the same, no baby is the same and no family is the same so a huge part of becoming a parent is to learn to trust those instincts and to do what feels right.
This can be about:
moving into comfortable positions
settling your baby
keeping your baby close
working with contractions
saying what you need
saying/doing something and seeking more help if it doesn’t feel right
resting
tuning into your baby’s needs
asking questions and gathering more information
As your confidence builds, you may over-think decisions and do what you think you should be doing but that might feel like you are battling with what feels right.
“When I had my first baby, strict routines were popular and I battled with her throughout the first 3 months - trying to get her to settle on her own, to sleep in her cot for longer, to sleep for longer at night, to nap on her own during the day. But she didn’t want to do any of those things - because she couldn’t - and I ended up ‘giving in’ and helping her to settle and sleep, feeling like a failure every time I did so.
Eventually I felt like I was getting it all wrong, I was crying a lot and I just couldn’t work out what to do with her. My husband asked me what I wanted to do and I said I wanted her to be near to me, I wanted the battle to end. And that’s when it hit
me - she was an easier baby if I went with what worked.”
Good knowledge underpins everything as well - so you know more about what’s normal, what is helpful and what to expect so you can trust your instincts, stop the battle and know you are getting it right for you and for your baby.
Remember, there isn’t one right way of doing it for everyone - you can ask questions below and get in touch to arrange a consultation.