I just want to acknowledge the challenges of parenting and always trying to get things right because it’s a tough gig sometimes and so many of us say we feel like we could have done things better.
I experienced so many challenges when my children were little and I became less stressed - and tired - as they grew up. There have been many many highlights, good times and special moments but the struggles have been intense, impacted by largely doing it without much back-up.
I can often give myself a hard time with regrets for being stressed, for being shouty and not as patient as I would have liked but life was pretty full on. As well as having my own mental health stuff and trying to parent differently to my upbringing, I also went to Uni and retrained as an antenatal educator and then a postnatal group leader, my third child died and then my parents died.
But, as a parent, I had to keep going and I didn’t always do it as well as I could have because of depression, panic attacks and needing to heal. But my girls were raised with love and their wellbeing was at the heart of everything.
I don’t really know what my girls would say about their childhood beyond me being stressed but I’m proud of the relationship I have with both of them and I am incredibly proud of them because they have been through a lot as well.
Like so many parents, I found parenting to be incredibly lonely at times, often feeling like I was getting it wrong but I have children who can turn to me (and their dad) when they need us, they talk to me and they trust me.
My fondest memories are just being with my children - the co-sleeping and the cuddles, the relaxed days of duvets and movies, the beach, our evenings together after the front door was closed to the world, the books at bedtime, baking and making, the silliness and the laughter. And when I think of these memories, I vow to give myself less of a hard time.
We will only ever want the very best for our children and some of the things we agonise over won’t matter as part of the bigger picture. I reckon the important stuff is the simple stuff - showing up for them and giving them our time, letting them know we are their safety net as they grow and navigate the world for themselves.
As parents we have to give, protect, love, care, teach, guide and soothe and we have to do this despite our own challenges and needs. Being a parent is such a privilege, a role which can truly fulfil us and give us such an intense jumble of love, pride, fear and worry.
That’s why it’s important to ease the stress, to talk things through, to focus on the parenting challenges and to think about what we do well.
Please do leave a comment and have a great weekend.
Thanks for this, and for sharing so vulnerably🤍
this is really moving, thanks for sharing and inspiring so many of us xxx