When you have a baby it can feel like you have no control, it can feel like you can’t predict what is going to happen next and this can feel overwhelming, like you are getting it wrong.
But you’re not. It’s really helpful if you can expect more chaos than order and routine with a baby, especially in those early weeks when this is more intense.
No two days are the same for your baby, they are learning to be out of the womb, many still need the womb replicating because that is where they felt safe and protected.
It may feel like there is no pattern or rationale to your baby’s need for food, sleep, cuddles and awake time - go with it, get to know your baby, don’t expect to have control and you will learn your baby’s cues and, eventually, a flexible pattern will develop.
I love seeing new mums go from feeling out of their depth, not knowing what their baby needs, to being able to confidently settle and soothe a few weeks later - it all takes time.
It really makes a difference to:
get out for a walk
be part of this community where you can read, comment, share and be reassured
try not to compare you or your baby to other families
rest, eat and get rid of any tension you may be carrying
accept the stage you are at with your baby
You can also speak to me during pregnancy - as part of your baby preparation - and when your baby is here for information, support and reassurance, based on evidence and experience.
Remember, a huge part of early parenting is patience and acceptance. You can’t control a new baby as they only have basic needs, if you can try to meet those and also look after yourself, that is a good day.